Is Ben Bisexual?

Here’s a very cool interview from the’s national bisexual writer, Sheela Lambert.

When she sent it to me, I had an interesting reaction. The reason she wrote about the book is Ben’s “Bisexuality.” I thought: Wait. Is he bisexual? And who gets to decide?

This isn’t a criticism. It’s simply a question about labels and how they work. And what constitutes bisexuality, I guess.

To me, I suppose Ben falls on that continuum. But you could also say he’s straight except for when he starts to have strong feelings for his best friend, Rafe. Or you could decide he’s on the road to gayville and he’s currently in denial.

What do you think? Would you label Ben? What would that label be? And should he need to be labeled at all? 

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9 Responses to Is Ben Bisexual?

  1. Jane says:

    I feel as though Ben is bisexual. I got that internalised feelings sort of “vibe” from him.

  2. yvan stone says:

    I think he is actually gay, it is just that he was too afraid and scared to admit it because it was something new to him and he didn’t know how to handle it

  3. Cuong Tran says:

    I am so puzzled by Ben’s sexuality and what Ben and Rafe’s relationship means now that the bubble around it has popped; that’s why I was so disappointed when I got to the ending (not that it was bad; the whole book was excellent) – I was just so curious to discover who Ben was going to become and I felt his journey was only just beginning.
    And also because I’m gay and I think I fell in love with Ben, and now my heart’s broken. (I stopped breathing during those scenes with Rafe and Ben lying together on the floor, on their beds, in the same bed – this is one of the most romantic novels I’ve ever read!)

    • bkonigsberg says:

      I am smiling reading this, because I am currently exploring this exact issue. Is Ben bi? Is he gay? Is he straight? Questioning? What’s the meaning of those labels, and is it possible that a person can defy labels and just be somewhere on a continuum? All very interesting questions. I promise you there will be answers! Coming!

  4. Ron says:

    Ben? Not gay. I’ve been with straight guys (they identified as straight and that was fine with me) and some just wanted to find out more, some were confused and a few were just intoxicated. I’m sure one or two may have actually been gay too.
    Reading about Ben’s story made me really feel bad for some of those men in my low ago past.

  5. Nikki R says:

    I don’t know whether i’d say Ben is bisexual, as he only seems to have homoromantic feelings towards Rafe. He seems to be demisexual, perhaps, because his feelings for Rafe are associated with their friendship. It is possible, as well, to have feelings for someone of a different gender than your sexuality, being one person, while still keeping your sexuality intact. It all depends on where they go from this point.

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